


Blood on her Hands

by AdriannaSharp, Artimas



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Other, Sailor Senshi Friendship, Trapped, mixed pov but mostly minako, senshi bonding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:15:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28093011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdriannaSharp/pseuds/AdriannaSharp, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artimas/pseuds/Artimas
Summary: S1 canon divergent. Beryl may have won in their past lives, but now that Serenity's awoken, Minako won't let her steal this life from them, too. The plan? Take the Shitennou hostage and turn them back into the men they were. But the plan is not as easy as they would have hoped. Trapped together to guard and heal the Shitennou, personalities clash and they'll need to figure out how to get through this together.
Relationships: Aino Minako/Kunzite, Senshi & Shitennou, Senshi/Shitennou
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28
Collections: Senshi & Shitennou Mini Bang 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe posting time has come already. It's that time again for another Senshi and Shitennou Bang Challenge! 
> 
> One thing I should mention is that the senshi are all aged up in this fic and are around 17/18 years old.
> 
> Now, onto the thanks I can't go ahead with this fic without thanking a few specific people: VenusUnchained because this idea was spawned by one of our random conversations, the amazing Artimas for her beautiful art and putting up with all my rewrites in the beginning, and last but certainly not least, my always amazing beta Cluckster. Without her, this fic would be a mess. Somehow she always knows exactly what my stories need and she was always there through my crazy ramblings as I put together this beast. 
> 
> And finally, a huge thanks to this whole community, especially the amazing mods. You have all been such a bright spot in this crap year and I love you all so much.

Prologue

Sailor Venus ran up the side of the building. If she wanted to lure Jadeite away for Plan B, she would have to get a little three dimensional.

She dodged an attack as she leapt to the roof. He didn’t miss a beat and teleported in front of her.

“Where are your friends?” he asked. There was a sizzle to his voice and energy crackled in his hands.

With any luck, Mars and Mercury already captured Nephrite and were back at the command center. Fortunately, he didn’t seem to be aware of that as his attention was focused on her.

She lifted the holy sword. It glowed brighter in the moonlight. “First you’ll have to fight me. Then maybe I’ll tell you where they are.”

He smiled. It was twisted and full of hate. “If you insist.”

He blast a shot of energy toward her and she deflected with the sword.

“None of your silly attacks today?” He shot another beam of energy.

She ducked. Where was Jupiter? She couldn’t keep this up much longer without attacking back. And that was only a last resort.

It was bad enough that Plan A failed. She needed this to work. She couldn’t let him get back to the Dark Kingdom. If Mercury and Mars really were successful, that meant that Jadeite was the last one to be captured. They needed all four of them if this was going to work. They needed to leave Beryl with nothing. And if Jadeite escaped now…

No, she couldn’t think about that. This had to work. If only she knew where Jupiter was.

She looked around. She hoped this wouldn’t end up like their capture of Zoisite. They were barely able to capture him. Venus wasn’t ready for him to fight so dirty and Mars missed an opening. But they captured him. And Kunzite. And, hopefully, Nephrite.

Venus needed this. She really needed this.

She deflected another attack and caught sight up Jupiter. She was just two rooftops away. Just a bit longer.

“Is that all you got?” Venus yelled, dodging another attack.

His smile widened and the energy at his fingertips crackled and grew.

“I’ll happily give you more. And then you’ll tell me where my brothers are.”

Jupiter leapt from the neighbouring rooftop and shot lightning right next to him.

He turned and unleashed a ball of energy at Jupiter. He missed.

Venus took her opening. She leapt forward and grabbed his arm.

“How about I show you?” Then, everything went dark as she teleported them both away.


	2. Chapter 2

Nine days later

Minako only had four rules when it came to this plan. They were simple rules, really. But as she entered the hallway, she felt the four doors stare back at her, and her resolve shook.

In reality, they were simple, unimposing metal doors with a pane of glass. But knowing who was behind each of them made the shaking inside of her spread to her limbs.

She didn’t want to drop the tray so she forced herself to walk past the first two doors and placed the tray on a stand.

She wasn’t normally the one to distribute the meals but when Minako realized that Makoto had been awake for 19 hours, she ordered Makoto to go to sleep. Minako insisted that she could distribute meals easily enough and took the tray from Makoto’s hands.

It seemed so easy, so straight forward, from the comfort of the kitchen. Now, standing alone between the four men they held prisoner, she wasn’t sure why she thought it would be so easy.

She could just see Jadeite in his cell to her right. She tried not to look. When the desire became stronger, she forced herself to look at the wall.

Rule 1. Don’t linger and stare

She supposed she was in partial violation of the first rule since she was still lingering but at least she wasn’t looking. Instead, she looked at the tray.

Stew. Right. Pass out the meals and leave.

She picked up the first bowl and walked to the farthest door, Zoisite’s.

There was a two way mirror in each of the doors so the senshi could see in, and a slot at the bottom for food.

Zoisite was in his usual position, cross legged on the floor, which always unnerved Minako. It was strange to see him so still and calm all the time. Still, she opened the slat and slid in the food. He didn’t move an inch.

Jadeite was next. He was in one of his moods, which currently involved yelling at the far wall. She couldn’t hear him but she could certainly recognize his familiar aggravated motions from behind.

He turned at the sound of the slat opening but Minako slid in the bowl and closed the slat before he could begin yelling at her.

Nephrite was distinctly easier, considering he was asleep. He was probably tired from his bout of punching the walls earlier. He rolled slightly at the sound of the slat but otherwise did nothing.

She walked back to her tray. Only one bowl left.

She reached for it, her hands shaking again. She stopped and took a breath. She needed to stay calm, focused. It was the only way she could get through this.

With renewed focus, she reached again for the bowl. Her hands were steadier this time and with the bowl in hand, she turned to Kunzite’s cell.

He wasn’t in view at first but as she approached, he appeared. He sat on his bed with his perfect posture and stared at the wall. Most would think that the lack of emotion on his face meant that there wasn’t much on his mind but Minako knew better. There was _always_ something on his mind.

She wanted to reach out to him, put his fears at ease, and get him to remember his past life. But she had to be patient. Their plan would work, they just needed time.

And besides, that would violate another rule.

Rule 2: No engaging with the prisoners, unless absolutely necessary.

She tried to have the senshi maintain this rule as well. Most agreed and upheld it well. Usagi was the one who usually broke it by trying to appeal to the side of them that was locked away.

Minako opened the slat and pushed in the bowl of stew. He looked to the door and Minako looked straight at his eyes. She wanted to talk to him, reach out to him.

No.

Rule 3. Do not open the door unless you have backup.

She repeated the rule, along with 1 and 2, to herself as she slid the slat shut and looked away.

This plan had to work. Failure was not an option this time. 

She stood back up and added the final rule into the rotation in her mind.

Rule 4. Never let your guard down around them.

It was another rule she pushed onto the others. Fortunately, they all took to it well but she expected that. She knew their memories weren’t as strong as her own and weren’t as likely to get caught up in sentimentality but it was a rule she could not forget for herself.

She picked up the now empty tray and left the hallway, the rules repeating in her mind.

She felt the weight of that hallway ease ever so slightly as she entered the control room of the command center, which served as their main hub for surveillance, eating, and sleeping. Luna was the one who discovered the ability to add extra rooms, which was how they were able to create cells for each of the men, bathrooms, a kitchen, and a meditation room for Rei.

The room had a distinct lived in feel, now that they had been there for over a week. A collection of cots were lined up in the corner with suitcases that were partially neat and tidy, and partially organized chaos. Makoto was curled up in her cot, hopefully fast asleep by now. Usagi and Mamoru were asleep just a few cots away. His arms were wrapped tightly around her.

Minako thought back to that day, when the seal on Usagi broke and Serenity woke up. Even before that seal broke, Minako could see how much of Serenity was in Usagi.

But there was no time for pleasant reminiscing that day. Usagi was confused and reeling from memories. And the rest of the senshi could barely hold back Beryl and Kunzite. And when Beryl recognized Mamoru for Endymion, Minako knew that escape was their best option. She managed to get all of them out of there before anything else could go wrong.

Minako brought herself back to reality. There were a few stray dishes around. So she gathered them and dropped them in the kitchen to be dealt with later.

When she stepped back out, she stepped onto the dais where the main computer sat. She stepped past the holy sword, which sat in a pedestal. Small rivers of blue light ran underneath her feet and up to the console, where Ami and Artemis sat. Artemis noticed her first. He always did.

“Minako,” he began, but his words were cut off by Minako scratching him behind the ear and smiling gently.

Before he could ask what she knew was on his mind, she asked, “How are things here?”

Ami put down the cup of coffee she held and placed a bookmark in her notebook. “The situation is normal, as far as I can tell. Nephrite’s heart rate and blood pressure spiked about an hour ago but it correlates with one of his outbursts so it wasn’t unusual.”

Minako looked up at the projected screens. The main screen was divided in four, a live camera feed of each of the shitennou and their vitals in each respective corner. A secondary screen with a map of Tokyo was beside it with a few smaller screens of live CCTV. Just because they were holding up in a pocket dimension, they still had to keep an eye on the city.

“And no bursts of energy in the city?”

“Nothing,” Artemis said.

“It’s just like you said,” Ami said. “Taking the shitennou hostage has rendered Queen Beryl helpless.”

“That woman is no queen. She doesn’t deserve the title.”

Ami paused before she finally nodded. Her tone shifted. It became the voice of a soldier. No nonsense. “How long do you think we have before she decides to retaliate?”

“I’m not sure. She won’t be patient but she also won’t be stupid. She won’t attack unless she thinks she can win.”

“What if we could find out more about the Dark Kingdom? Surely that would help.”

“Any suggestions?”

Ami gestured to the main screen. Her tone tried to be a bit more friendly again. “They would be able to give us some information.”

“I can’t imagine they’re in a particularly gracious mood to tell us anything.”

“But perhaps we could gain some insight into-”

“No. No unnecessary engagement. That’s an order, Mercury.”

Ami nodded again. Her no nonsense tone returned. “Very well.”

Minako could see the dejection in Ami’s eyes and felt a hint of remorse. She didn’t mean to snap at her but sometimes it was needed. Minako could see pity in Ami’s eyes when she looked up at the monitor. She needed to toughen up. If she didn’t, she could get hurt.

“Is Rei still in meditation?”

“She is.”

“We’ll have her do a check on them once she’s done. When we rid them of Metalia, that’s when we can gain that information.”

As Minako spoke, the door on the far side opened and Rei walked out, flushed and sweating slightly. But even through that, she still looked as radiant and elegant as ever.

“Gain what information?” Rei asked.

“Information about the Dark Kingdom,” Ami said. “Once they’re healed, perhaps we can gain some insight into…Beryl.” She paused, tilting her head slightly. “Rei, would you be able to divine that kind of information?”

“I’ve tried a few times but the dark energy around them is strong. I haven’t been able to get anything yet. Minako, is there anything else you can tell us that could help?”

“I’ve told you all I know.”

Minako didn’t miss the skeptical look on Rei’s face. It was something Rei had in common with Mars, although Mars was always more likely to voice her opinion than Rei had been so far. Minako was thankful that Rei wasn’t particularly argumentative. It made everything easier. They just needed to trust her, follow her plan, and they would come through. 

“Usagi should be awake again soon,” Ami said. “Then we should be ready for another round.”

“We’ll let Makoto sleep a bit more,” Minako said. “She could use the rest. Once she’s awake, we’ll pay Zoisite a visit.”

Minako always hated referring to the healing sessions that way but she found it easier. Saying that they were going to heal them of the evil presence of a horrid witch was too long, and interfered with her expectations, even though the former made her sound like some kind of action movie villain.

Ami and Rei shared a look before nodding in agreement.

The senshi did that sometimes. They shared looks that Minako couldn’t understand or brought conversations to a halt when she walked in the room. It was clear that even though they agreed to this plan, they didn’t entirely trust her yet.

“I should go get something to eat,” Minako said. “Are either of you hungry?”

Both women passed and Minako disappeared to the kitchen.

While Minako didn’t have a lot of experience in kitchens, she knew the one the command centre created for them was incredibly impressive. With high end restaurant level appliances and plenty of storage, it was something Makoto kept running her hands over and fawning that she had never cooked in such a beautiful space.

The swinging door slowed down and stopped behind her, but not before Artemis could sneak in too. She pretended not to notice him.

He jumped onto the counter. Okay, that made things harder.

“Minako?”

“You better not let Makoto see you up here. I’m sure she wouldn’t want cat hair in her food.” Her tone was only mildly scolding. She never could be mad at Artemis, not really.

“No other cat will actually clean up their hair.”

Minako ladled some of the lukewarm stew into a fresh pot and turned on the stove. “Fair enough.”

They both let the moments pass. The only sound was the flickering of the flame on the stove.

“How long are you going to continue like this?”

She continued staring at the stew as she stirred it. “Like what?”

“You know what I mean. This hardened soldier routine. It’s wearing on you.”

“I’m fine.”

When she didn’t return his gaze, he placed a paw on her arm and she finally looked at him. He had that face on. That face he used when he knew she was lying. But she wasn’t ready to admit that.

“This isn’t the time for sentimentality,” she continued. “This kind of mission doesn’t call for fun, bubbly Minako. This calls for serious Minako. This calls for Venus.”

“Even you weren’t this serious in your past life.”

“And look where that got us. I let myself get too soft back then.”

“Don’t do that again.”

“I can’t let emotions get in the way this time. That witch is going to pay for her actions.”

“Silver Millennium’s fall was not your fault.”

Minako fell silent again. 

It had been almost a year since she regained her memories. That crumbling movie set seemed to echo the memories when they came rushing back to her. It was too much for a seventeen year old’s mind to handle. There were days where she faked being sick so she didn’t have to go to school because the memories were too much. There were nights she woke up, heart racing from nightmares. Through it all, Artemis was there. He listened to her talk things through as she made sense of all the memories. He comforted her when the memories overwhelmed her. And he would always tell her that Silver Millennium’s fall was no one’s fault.

It was a lie but she appreciated the effort.

Fortunately, before Artemis pushed her further, Ami came in.

“Sorry to interrupt. Is the stew still hot?”

“It’s on the warmer side of lukewarm. You changed your mind?”

“It’s for Usagi. She woke up and she’s rather hungry.”

“Better make it an extra large bowl,” Artemis said, trying to keep things light.

Ami smiled sheepishly before a thoughtful look came over her face and she looked between the two. Ami’s look was always evaluating the situation. Minako did not have Venus’ heightened empathic powers but still, she could feel how uncomfortable Ami was when they were along together.

“I admit I don’t remember, was Serenity just as ravenous?”

It was a safe topic. When in doubt, talk about Usagi. It was enough to disarm anyone.

“She had a healthy appetite. But not this much,” Minako said.

“Why is that? She is using the Silver Crystal like Serenity did, correct?”

That was certainly true. Minako thought about that before too. There was just one distinct difference. “Serenity grew up with the Silver Crystal. But Usagi is still getting used to it.”

Ami looked thoughtful before nodding. Ami never asked questions that were too much and Minako appreciated it. Even when she did, her questions were direct and never too flowery or personal. Even when she suggested things like trying to interrogate the shitennou, she quickly dropped it when Minako disagreed. It was good, it helped keep the mission focused.

Minako tasted a bit of the stew to find that it got a bit too hot and pulled it off the burner. “Mine is done if you want to use this,” she said as she grabbed a bowl and emptied the pot.

“Thank you,” Ami said, and the two swapped places.

“Is Mamoru awake too?” Minako asked.

“He is, but he isn’t hungry yet.”

Minako pulled up a stool and sat at the edge of the counter. She blew on her stew and picked out a piece of beef for Artemis.

“How is Usagi feeling?”

“She is a bit tired but that isn’t anything new. She is sleeping a bit less than before and I hope that won’t affect her health.”

“Actually, it’s probably a good thing,” Minako said between mouthfuls. “It means she’s getting more used to the Silver Crystal. Her body is adjusting. As long as she’s still feeling fine, there shouldn’t be anything to worry about.”

Ami paused and stirred the stew a few times. Minako could see her analyze again before asking, “What is the Silver Crystal? How did come into existence?”

“I don’t know,” Minako said. “It was never something that I asked about. All I know is that it’s powerful. And like Queen Serenity said, it was the reason Metalia attacked.”

It had been a few weeks since their trip to the Moon. It took all of Minako’s strength to hold herself together as they all landed in the dome. It was the first time she saw the ruins outside of her memories. Seeing the ruins, touching them, feeling the familiar paths under her feet…it made all of her memories more real, more intense. So she drifted to the back of the group and got her mind back under control by the time they reached the front gate.

She managed to get through it by looking at her feet as much as she could. She touched as little as possible. She didn’t want to possibly feel any residual emotion left by Silver Millennium’s fall. She didn’t think she could take anything else to add to her memories.

“Do you think we could speak with Queen Serenity again? She could help to answer so many questions.”

Minako’s head bowed. “I’m afraid not. Once we got back from the Moon, Artemis and I tried to reach her from here. This technology is the same as the Moon’s so we thought that we could reach her. But there’s no signal.”

Ami’s stirring paused. Minako could see the gears in her head turn. There was sorrow but she was also thinking of something else. She didn’t say what it was.

Ami tasted the stew and found that it was the perfect temperature. “I should get this to Usagi.” She pulled out a bowl and emptied out the pot. “Are you coming?”

She almost said yes. Maybe the senshi’s conversations could distract her from the threat of her memories making an unwanted appearance. But then she remembered that Mamoru was awake too.

“Go ahead. I’ll finish up my food first.”

Ami nodded and, after setting aside the pot, she walked out. Minako still had a half a bowl left and wondered how long she could make it last. She picked out another piece and gave it to Artemis.

As if reading her mind he said, “Do you need some time alone?”

She scratched his ear. “Not from you.”

An hour later, Minako returned to the main room. Makoto was the only one left asleep and the others tried to talk in more hushed tones to make sure they didn’t wake her. Usagi’s bowl of stew was long finished. Mamoru had his arm around her but she pulled away when Minako reappeared.

“You’re back,” Usagi greeted. She took Minako by the shoulders. “Ami said you were busy and that we should let you come out when you were ready.”

Minako glanced over at Ami, who sat at the console. Minako knew she was one of the top ranked students in Japan but it seemed that her smarts didn’t just lie in books. “Yeah, I just had a few things on my mind.”

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Thank you, Usagi.”

Usagi smiled and nodded. “Should we wake up Mako and start?”

“No, let her sleep. It’s better that she’s well rested before we go see Zoisite.” She thought about joining everyone in whatever conversation they were having when she walked in. Her eyes panned over the group and stopped at Mamoru. Then she looked back at Ami who was still sitting at the console. “Ami, I can take over. You’ve been staring at that screen for hours.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. I should probably take another turn on it anyways.”

Ami accepted and moved to sit with the rest of the group. Minako took her seat and stared up at the screen of the four men in their cells. They were much the same as when she left food for them. The only notable difference was that Zoisite’s eyes were open now and, although she knew he couldn’t see her, he seemed to be staring directly at the camera. There was something in his eyes that set her on edge and she tried not to think about the fact that they were going to see him next.


	3. Chapter 3

Minako was staring at the screen when she was overwhelmed with the urge to blink more. She supposed she had been staring a bit too intensely, although she wasn’t entirely paying attention.

A few hours had passed since she started her shift at the console. It was important to keep an eye on the shitennou. She needed to be aware of their behaviour and any changes that could indicate they were planning something. That was important. She knew that. The problem for her would be in making sure that she didn’t really _look_ at them. It was hard to look at them for too long. If she did, her guard might come down. It happened the first time she took a shift at the console. She started seeing them for the men they were back in their past lives. Before the war, before Beryl, before everything got so much more complicated, they were ordinary men. Men she befriended. One man she loved. As she stared at them that first day, she wondered if they were really all bad. Maybe she could get through to them. But that was dangerous thinking. She couldn’t let her walls come down. She already let that happen once and two kingdoms fell because of it. She wouldn’t let it happen again.

To distract herself, she listened to the soft conversation behind her. She listened to Usagi talk excitedly about a new maiden game that was coming out soon. She listened as Rei reminded Usagi to keep her voice down so they wouldn’t wake Makoto. She listened to Ami and Luna gently chide Usagi that she still had responsibilities. She listened to Rei’s occasional remarks. Minako thought about joining. She did add a few comments herself but she didn’t fully join the conversation. Mamoru was still there. He was rather silent, but he was there. She could just make him out in the reflection on the screen. All he did was sit by Usagi, silently encouraging her in whatever she said. But that was pretty par for the course since they locked themselves away here. He hardly did anything productive or helpful. Her eyes flicked to his reflection a few times and just seeing his quiet, indifferent attitude towards anything but Usagi annoyed her. It grew each time she looked at him. Fortunately, Makoto waking up provided a distraction.

Once Makoto rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, she looked over the group. “You weren’t waiting for me, were you?”

“You needed sleep,” Usagi said. Her tone was sweet and reassuring and Minako could see Makoto instantly relax a bit. But she still hurried out of her cot and pulled her hair into her usual ponytail.

Minako turned in the stool to face her and smiled gently. “There’s no need to rush, Jupiter.”

Makoto paused before nodding.

As the silence lifted over the room, Minako could feel the usual disquiet creep in. They were all awake. It was almost time.

“Do you need anything to eat?” Usagi said. “Your stew was delicious and I think there’s still some left.”

“I’m fine thanks. Let’s just get to it.”

All eyes turned to Minako and she stood from the stool. She was the leader. They wouldn’t do anything until her command.

“Well then, let’s go.” She knew she should address Mamoru but she looked at Artemis instead. “I’ll leave the console to you.”

Artemis nodded and he was joined by Luna and Mamoru. The three of them couldn’t be of much help when it came to their sessions. They were better off monitoring from afar.

Minako was the first to hold up her hand and transform but the others quickly followed and Sailor Venus led them down the hallway to the farthest cell where Zoisite was.

Venus drew a breath and repeated the most important rules over and over in her mind.

_Don_ _’t linger, don’t stare, don’t engage, don’t let your guard down_

The hallway was easier to face surrounded by her fellow senshi. It didn’t seem quite so dark. But then, no place could be dark when her princess stood with her.

They reached Zoisite’s cell and each took their positions. Venus stayed ahead, her fingers already pulling at the chain on her hips. Mars and Jupiter flanked behind her, ready to attack if Zoisite tried anything. Usagi stood behind them, waiting for her moment to come forward. Mercury stood behind all of them. She would remain in the hallway, ready to cloud the area in fog if things should go wrong. It was a careful plan. One that played to all of their strengths.

Venus removed the chain, gripped it in her hands and glanced through the window. Rei’s wards were still perfectly in place around the room, restricting the power of any dark energy. Zoisite still sat there in the middle of the floor, his legs crossed and eyes closed. Venus nodded, the hearts of her ancestors replaced the metal chain as Jupiter opened the door. Venus’ eyes automatically glanced around the room, double checking Mars’ wards.

Zoisite’s eyes opened. “Is it time again already?”

_Don_ _’t engage_

Venus stayed silent as she whipped the chain around him. Once she was sure he was secure, she motioned for Jupiter and Mars to take their places before Usagi stepped into the room. Even though Minako knew Usagi was Sailor Moon and saw her transform multiple times, Minako found it strange to see her princess clothed in the uniform of a senshi. She wasn’t meant to fight. She should have never needed to fight. The title of Sailor didn't suit a Princess.

_Don_ _’t let your guard down_

Venus focused again. Usagi was front and center now and Venus tightened the chain a bit more.

“It’s okay Zoisite,” Usagi said as she pulled out the Silver Crystal. “We’re going to make you better.”

She said that at the beginning every time. It was so calm, so sweet, so Serenity. And then she began pouring out her energy into him and the room was bathed in a white light that would make fresh snow look dull.

Venus braced her legs. She was always nervous when Usagi brought out the Silver Crystal around them. She was always worried they would jump or push or try to get to her, to the Crystal. So far, nothing. Nephrite and Jadeite had a tendency to be a bit restless but they never tried anything. Zoisite and Kunzite would just sit there, as if they didn’t have a care in the world, as if the Silver Crystal wasn’t affecting them at all.

Venus pulled even tighter. She tried not to let herself think that. She couldn’t let herself think that. Metalia couldn’t be that powerful.

Despite Zoisite’s statuesque appearance, Usagi persevered and pushed more of that light into him until her legs started to wobble. Usagi didn’t notice how she pushed herself until Jupiter placed a hand on her shoulder. Usagi nodded and tucked the Silver Crystal away, bringing the light in the room back to its usual artificial hue.

Jupiter escorted Usagi out, followed by Mars. Venus waited until they were out of the room before stepping to the door. She still held the chain in her hands and lengthened it as she stepped. Only at the last moment did she release the chain, step out, and close the door.

She looked back through the window. He was smiling. But it wasn’t his mischievous smile she recognized from his pranks a lifetime ago. It was twisted and sent a chill down her spine.

_Don_ _’t stare_

She looked away and instead looked over her senshi who were now heading back to the main room. Their transformations faded one after the other. Jupiter, now Makoto again, walked beside Usagi to make sure she was alright. But then Mamoru appeared at the end of the hallway, rendering any of Makoto’s help useless. He ran straight to Usagi. He checked her forehead, he looked into her eyes, and then he saw her wobbly legs. That was enough for him, and he picked her up to carry her the rest of the way.

Sailor Venus faded and Minako fought the urge to roll her eyes. He did this every time.

The main room was quiet when they entered again. The only sound that could be heard was the rustling of fabric and the gentle hum of the console. It was like this after most sessions. No one really had anything to say. Ami and Rei joined the cats at the console and Makoto and Mamoru disappeared to the kitchen, presumably to get Usagi something to eat. She did enjoy something to eat after their sessions. Using the Silver Crystal had a tendency to exhaust Usagi but food and sleep always put her right again. Knowing it would take them a few minutes to put something together, Minako sat with Usagi on her cot.

“How are you feeling?” Minako asked.

“Okay, I guess. Kind of hungry. And sleepy.” Usagi punctuated her last point with a large yawn.

“So the usual.”

Usagi yawned again, smaller this time, but her usual smile didn’t come. Instead, she stared at Minako. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” Minako asked, brushing a long stray bit of hair from her princess’ face.

“I’m not very good at this. None of them are getting better.”

The sorrow on her princess’ face was palpable. Minako took both of her hands into her own. “Hey. No blaming yourself. We all knew this wasn’t going to be a quick process. You’re still learning how to use the Silver Crystal.”

“But I healed other people. Why can’t I heal them?”

Minako patted Usagi’s hand. “Beryl has had her clutches in them since our past lives. I think they just have a lot of dark energy in them and it’s going to take a little while to get it all out.”

“What if I’m not strong enough? I want Mamo to have his friends back.” She yawned again.

“You are strong enough. When Zoisite possessed everyone in Tokyo to find the Silver Crystal, you were the one who healed everyone. You are so strong, Princess. You just need to be a little more patient with yourself.”

Minako could see the faint hint of a smile on Usagi’s face.

“There you go,” Minako said. “Now get some rest. And remember that we’re all here for you.”

Usagi didn’t seem entirely convinced but she still nodded and laid down.

She managed to leave Usagi just as Mamoru exited the kitchen with a plate of snacks and veered out of his path to walk up to the console.

That was when she noticed Ami, Rei, and Luna staring at her. Artemis sat on the console, a sympathetic look on his face. She knew that face. And she had a feeling it had to do with Rei and Ami.

Rei was the first one to speak. “You know about that?”

“About what?” Minako asked.

“When Zoisite possessed all of Tokyo to look for the Silver Crystal and Usagi healed everyone. That’s what I’m talking about.”

Minako shared a look with Artemis and he shrugged apologetically. Apparently they were already discussing this before she left Usagi. “I told you that I kept an eye on all of you before I revealed myself.”

Rei crossed her arms. “Did you have full surveillance on us?”

Ami interjected. “What Rei is trying to say is that we know you were the one behind the Sailor V game but we didn’t realize you knew that much about our battles.”

What did they think she had been doing all this time? “Of course I do. Whenever any of you would transform, the command center would pick up on the energy and alert me. If the enemy ever came close to discovering the truth about Usagi or the Silver Crystal…” Minako trailed off. That part of her plan was pointless now. “Well, I was ready to step in.”

“What else aren’t you telling us?” Rei asked. Her tone was calm but firm. Her eyes were like embers ready to ignite.

“I’ve told you everything you need to know Mars.”

The fire in Rei’s eyes flickered but anything she was about to say was interrupted by Artemis.

“Rei, this isn’t the time. You should trust Minako.”

Surprisingly, Rei stopped and Minako followed her eyes as Rei looked around the group. Artemis already made his stance clear, Ami had a look of sympathy in her eyes, and Luna didn’t seem to know where she stood.

“Fine.” Without another word, Rei stepped down from the dais and to her meditation room. Minako noticed she closed the door harder than normal.

“She just needs a bit of time to cool down,” Ami said. “Rei can be a bit-”

“Hot tempered,” Minako said. “I remember. Mars was the same. But she’ll loosen up. Just give her some time.”

Minako thought she saw something pass over Ami’s eyes but when she looked closer, it was gone.

Artemis was the one to break the silence. “Minako you should get some sleep.”

“I was actually going to take a shift at the console.”

“I’ll be fine,” Ami said. “I woke up after you did, I’ll have Luna with me, and Mamoru can take over if I get too tired.”

Minako glanced over at Mamoru who sat with Usagi’s head in his lap. She almost forgot he was still in the room. She fought the urge to roll her eyes at the thought of Mamoru helping. But now that Ami mentioned it, she had been up for a while. Sleep was a good idea. She needed to stay well rested.

“Wake me if anything unusual happens.”

“I will.”

No one bothered Minako as she disappeared to her bathroom. She brushed her teeth and washed her face. They were content in their group without her, that much was clear. And it was fine. She knew these women were her sisters in their past life. She remembered all of the little details about their relationships. She remembered the tone Mercury’s voice would get when a new technological advancement was discovered. She remembered how well she and Jupiter fought together in their training sessions. She remembered how Mars would sneak into her room late at night and they would fall asleep talking. But they didn't remember any of that.

She ignored the ache in her heart at the memories. She didn’t need sisters right now. She needed her senshi, her allies, her soldiers. She needed their help to make sure this life wouldn’t end in tragedy again.

She walked quietly back into the control room. Ami was still at the console but Artemis waited for Minako at her cot. She smiled and scratched his ear. She was always thankful that he joined her. The nightmares were always easier to face and therefore hide from the others if he was with her.

She hid the nightmares from her parents for months after she got her memories back. But at least she had a separate room and a door to keep them from being suspicious. Not that they would have cared one way or the other. Here, there was no door to hide behind. But Artemis had been with her for so long that he knew exactly where to curl up and how loud to purr to distract the nightmares from getting too bad.

Minako lifted the blanket, climbed in, and Artemis curled up right beside her. It took less time than she expected to drift to sleep and Artemis stayed with her the whole time. This. This was all she needed to get through this toil. 

At least that was what she told herself. 


	4. Chapter 4

It was easier to make a study of the men when Ami was alone. Some people preferred to have white noise or music to keep them focused but she always preferred the quiet. The only noise was the gentle hum of the machine and the odd tapping of buttons between her and Luna.

It was a quiet time now. Nephrite only recently woke up and found the bowl of stew sitting at the door. He quietly ate it and Ami made a note of it. She stared at her notes on Nephrite. This was usual for him and Ami wondered if he ate because he was hungry or because it was something to do. After all, Kunzite never ate and Zoisite would only have a few bites before pushing it away again. Jadeite approached his food a bit like a cat. He smelt it, poked at it a bit, and then finally ate it. It was fascinating, really. Although she also acknowledged the selfishness in it. These four men weren’t willing participants. They were prisoners. They were cared for, but only in a way that Minako saw fit. They received high quality food at regular intervals but they never received outdoor or recreation time. The size of cells were small to keep them contained, but were they too small? A million questions of ethics rolled through Ami’s mind. They were prisoners but they were also there to be healed so, in a way, this prison was equal parts hospital.

She hadn’t started medical school yet but it wasn’t far off. She already began the readings and discussed those topics with her mother. One that fascinated her as of late was the ethics of patient care, particularly what to do when a patient does not want to receive the care that is prescribed. Often times those were the elderly who were done with life, or those with mental disabilities who did not understand procedures or medications, or children who had not yet developed the ability to understand something bigger than themselves.

None of the textbooks described a situation where someone was possessed by an evil entity and forced to remain a prisoner while they receive treatment from a mystical crystal.

It was a strange situation indeed and the first time in her life that Ami couldn’t find the answer in a book. It was certainly frustrating but she turned that frustration into determination and started keeping her own notes.

She zoomed in on Zoisite’s cell to see if she could determine any changes in his behaviour since his session. She turned the pages of her notebook to Zoisite’s section. There wasn’t much there; his eating habits, his calm and focused temperament, and his sleeping patterns, which detailed that he never used his bed. He only sat cross legged on the floor, usually with his eyes closed.

It was in the same pattern as his usual behaviour and she made that note. She zoomed the camera even a bit closer. How would they tell when they were healed? She knew they had Rei’s spiritual abilities that could sense Metalia but she wondered if there would be any other clues. Would they regain their memories? Would their behaviour change? Would their appearance change?

There were so many probabilities to consider and, naturally, she made a list of those as well. None of them were checked off or had any notes next to them. They just lingered there, like possibilities that seemed impossibly out of reach.

She looked back up at Zoisite. In their past lives, the two of them fell in love. She remembered him as well as pieces of their relationship, but her memories weren’t complete. She did remember that their courtship didn’t get very far. There were a handful of stolen kisses between the gardens and Prince Endymion’s private study. But what she remembered most were the conversations. He was intelligent and, while he used that at first to try and impress her, he quickly realized that would not work with her. Instead, he engaged with her and listened. Once they established a trust between them, she told him about her home planet and the advancements her people made, particularly in long distance communication and health care. Meanwhile, he was always quick to make her smile with a witty comment or make her think with further philosophical questions.

In addition to being highly intelligent, he was very animated as well. His face would carry an array of emotions as they discussed their interests. But the man she now looked at on the screen was different. He only appeared to have three emotions: his resting face that surrendered nothing, his piercing stare, and his taunting remarks. She remembered Zoisite to have an air of humour to him, a prankster. He would often pull pranks on the other men and she would hide a laugh under a cough.

What was on his mind now? Ami’s finger hovered over the speaker button. She wanted to ask him, to speak to him, but then she remembered Minako’s order not to.

She knew logically that Minako was their leader. She had memories from their past lives of following her, taking orders from her. No, that wasn’t quite right. She had memories of Mercury following Venus.

She thought back to Mercury’s life. Her memories of her time on the Moon were the strongest but she still retained brief memories of her early life on her home planet. She could remember bits of Mercurian advancements that she was involved in.

She ran her hands over the console and wondered how much of the technology under her fingertips was from her past life’s people. Were there other things they excelled at as well?

She thought about asking Minako. Minako’s memories seemed so much more developed than her own but she didn’t expect Minako to be particularly forthcoming with that information. She was always rather tight lipped whenever anyone asked about their past lives. Ami quickly came to the conclusion to simply not ask anything personal.

But she still wondered.

Luna turned around from the other screen she was looking at.

“Ami, are you alright?”

“Yes, thank you. I’m just thinking.” She looked over at Minako who was asleep on her cot. Artemis was curled up beside her as he usually was. Ami lowered her voice to a whisper and watched the screen from the corner of her eye. “Do you think Minako’s plan could work?”

“I’m not quite sure. So much is still unknown. Artemis and I have been running reports. These computers are connected to the ones in the ruins of the palace. We compared reports of Metalia’s power back then to ones we have been running now. She doesn’t seem to be as powerful as she was back then.”

Ami petted behind Luna’s ears.

“But we aren’t either, are we?”

Luna’s eyes looked down. “I can never get anything past you.”

“I remember vague things. I remember more force behind my own powers. I remember the feeling I had when I summoned them but that power won’t come to me in the same force it used to.”

“You’re still coming into your powers, just like Usagi.”

The two looked over at Usagi. Her head was still in Mamoru’s lap. He looked down at her but when Ami and Luna looked over at him, he looked up. His smile was gentle. Ami smiled back.

She looked back at the screen. “I know that having the Shitennou on our side will be an advantage. But we need to get them on our side first.”

“Usagi wants it. And we know that when Usagi really sets her mind to something, she won’t stop until she gets it.”

“Yes. I remember when she picked up extra chores and errands just to get enough money for a new manga a few months back. Her heart just needs to be in the right place.”

“Unlike studying,” Luna said.

The two laughed but tried to keep their voices down to not wake the others. It was nice. It had been some time since Ami smiled like that. As the laughter faded, Ami remembered something.

“When Minako told us about her plan, I remember Usagi’s face. She looked so determined. It was reassuring, comforting, like it was possible to do anything she believed in.”

“Usako has that effect on people.”

Ami turned around to see Mamoru closer than she would have expected.

“I’m so sorry we disturbed you.”

“Not at all. My legs could use the stretch. How is it going here?”

Ami noticed that Mamoru didn’t look at the screen as he asked.

“They’re stable but there have been no changes, as far as I can tell.”

Mamoru nodded but said nothing.

He had a comforting presence. Since Usagi insisted that they all reveal their identities, she felt a certain kinship with Mamoru. They were both quiet and reserved with a desire to help people to heal. It was rare that she met someone with such a similar view on life. She picked his brain a bit about starting medical school and he was always happy to answer her questions. It was warm and comforting, even in their current situation.

Ami glanced between the screen and Mamoru. She wanted to bring his attention to the Shitennou, to the men she knew should stand alongside him, but something inside of her told her not to. Instead she looked at Luna and changed the topic to something Mamoru would likely be more engaged in. “My memories are not the most complete but Serenity was inspiring like that too, wasn’t she?”

Luna smiled. “Yes. She was the jewel of her Queen Serenity’s eye. And it was impossible to find anyone who could tell her no.”

“Is that why we kept allowing her to go down to Earth?”

“Partially, yes. But once Queen Serenity discovered the truth, she thought it might be time for the Earth and the Moon to join together.”

“She talked to me about it,” Mamoru said. “She made it sound so possible. As if our people just misunderstood each other all that time.”

“She does make things sound so easy,” Luna said.

Mamoru looked over his shoulder at the screen. He looked at it for three seconds before turning away.

Ami looked up at him. “This mission is important to Usagi. We will do our best to see it succeed.”

Mamoru looked back at her. “Thank you.”

-

A bead of sweat trailed down Rei’s spine. Good. The heat helped to keep her focused. Flames of the Sacred Fire burned in front of her and she forced herself to concentrate even more.

The fire had been vague as of late. It was less than encouraging and frankly, very odd. She spent days trying to determine if Minako’s plan was even realistic. She analyzed the shitennou multiple times, especially after healings, to see if there was any progress. But all she could sense was Metalia. Maybe there were traces of the men they used to be underneath all of that evil but if there was, she couldn’t sense it. And the Sacred Fire was being no help either. It showed her fleeting images at the best of times. And it was as if those images were behind a thick layer of fog that she couldn’t make out. The images would be gone before she could begin to hone in closer.

She needed a new tactic, a new direction.

She needed answers.

She thought of Minako and the way she withheld information.

It wasn’t as if Rei’s memories were flimsy but there were holes. She remembered her life on the moon, her relationship with Serenity and the other senshi. The feeling of her relationship with Venus was the strongest but the memories weren’t as strong as the others. It was a strange sensation to know of such a strong kinship with someone without knowing the full story of the memories behind them. But perhaps that was a good thing. She wasn’t Mars, and she didn’t have that relationship with Minako, despite their shared past.

Her strongest memories were of Serenity and the Queen. Her kinship with Serenity felt strong even in this lifetime. Even in this lifetime she wanted to please her princess. She suspected it was part of the reason she accepted Usagi so quickly into her life. She remembered the Queen, who was like a mother to all of them. She took them under her wing and always made the Moon palace feel like a home. Despite its grandeur compared to her home planet, it was warm and welcoming. She spent so many happy years there.

She tried not to remember Jadeite but the memories sometimes ran hand in hand with her memories of the moon. She remembered his easy smile, his patience, the way he broke down her guard in a way that only the senshi had before. The memories came rushing back but the details were scarce.

She knew that relations between Terrans and Lunarians were forbidden but she couldn’t remember why. On day three of their own imprisonment, she asked Minako about those details but Minako would only say that it wasn’t important to their new mission.

Minako answered most questions that way and Rei could only wonder why. Were there secrets that Minako wanted to hide or did she simply not trust them with the truth? Even Artemis pushed for Rei to back down when she got confrontational with Minako. So whatever Minako knew, Artemis knew too. She thought about approaching Artemis for answers instead, but knew that he was probably more stubborn than Minako was. He seemed protective of her. Rei knew that Minako had been Sailor V before she revealed herself as Sailor Venus to the rest of the senshi but they didn’t even know much about that time of her life.

There had to be something. Something that Minako would answer.

Another memory came to her mind, a memory of their final stand, the battle of Silver Millennium.

She knew of the battle. Queen Serenity spoke of it when they went to the Moon. She only had vague memories of it. But all she could remember was the clang of metal, a diminishing hope, and the smell of blood. She couldn’t even remember how she died.

Rei broke out of her meditative state, abandoned the fire and decided to find answers for herself.

Unfortunately, when she came back to the main room, she saw that Minako was asleep. Fortunately, Ami, Luna, and Mamoru were still awake. She walked to the console.

Luna was the first to notice her and speak. “Rei, did anything happen?”

“No. But I am looking to get some answers. And since Minako is too tight lipped to tell us anything, I wanted to speak to all of you.”

“What is it?” Ami asked.

“Do any of you remember the final battle in our past lives? What happened? How did we die?”

She looked at Ami first who seemed startled by the attention. “Very little. I remember flashes of battle but I don’t remember enough to tell you about anything in detail.”

“Mamoru?”

Mamoru was calm, as if he was preparing himself. “I do remember that day but I’m afraid I won’t be of much help. I wasn’t present for most of the battle. You all thought I would be too distracted on the battlefield. I held back in the palace and protected Serenity. But she got very good at sneaking away. She wanted to end the fighting so I chased after her. She went straight to the battle. I made it out the door just after her and, you were right. I was distracted. I tried to appeal to my people. But it was like Venus said, Earth’s people were too far gone. There was no reasoning with them. I fought them off but still tried to reason with them. They were my people but I had to protect Serenity. It wasn’t long before Beryl cut me down in an attempt to get to Serenity.”

Ami continued his thought. “And then Serenity…” but she couldn’t bear to finish.

“Yes,” Mamoru said. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect her.”

“It would have happened regardless,” Luna said. “They caught us by surprise. We weren’t prepared. It was a fight we couldn’t have won. If you and Serenity stayed inside, it just would have prolonged the inevitable.”

“Luna, do you remember?” Ami asked.

“Most of it, yes. But Artemis and I were never battle trained. We stayed in the palace, by the Queen’s side. I couldn’t tell you what happened on the battlefield.”

Rei paused. “Queen Serenity didn’t fight?”

“She planned to. We went with her to the Room of Prayer. She was going to take on Metalia herself and she needed to prepare. You all were to give her as much time as you could.”

Rei leaned in a bit closer. “And then?”

“Then she felt her daughter die. The rest of you died shortly after.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. Once Queen Serenity sensed the death of her daughter, we ran to the front lines with her. By the time she reached the doors, she knew that all of you fell in battle too.”

“And she gave up her life to give us a new one,” Ami said.

“There wouldn’t have been much of a life left for her,” Rei said.

Silence filled the room, the weight of memories hung on them. Even though they couldn’t remember everything, they could remember the hopelessness, the despair, and it made the air thick and full of gloom.

In that moment of silence, Makoto appeared from the kitchen.

“There’s some food ready if anyone…” She looked between everyone at the console. “Is everything okay?”

Rei looked up. “Makoto, do you remember the final battle?”

“The final battle?”

“Of our past lives. The battle of Silver Millennium.”

Makoto looked down at the towel she held. “No…not really.”

Rei’s eyes turned to Luna. “Minako remembers, doesn’t she?”

“I don’t know,” Luna said. “It does seem as though her memories are stronger than any of yours. But I don’t know what she remembers.”

“So when she wakes up, we ask her point blank. She can’t possibly reject the request if all of us ask her.”

“You want us to gang up on her?” Ami asked.

“Why not?”

“She is our leader and deserves that respect.”

Rei scoffed. “Leader? And what has she done so far? Trap us all down here on a pointless mission.” She gestured to the screen. “I have been looking to the fire for answers this entire time and do you know what I see? I see puppets to Beryl and Metalia. There is no good left in them.”

“Is there something you’d like to say directly to me, Mars?”

Everyone’s heads turned to see Minako sitting upright in her cot.

While most people would feel some sense of shame at their action, Rei did not. In fact, she saw it as the perfect segue.

“Yes, there is. The final battle of our past lives. None of us remember it. What happened?”

Minako was quiet as she stood up and walked to the dais. She did not step onto it. She kept her distant

“It’s like Queen Serenity told us. Earth’s armies marched on us. They were possessed by Metalia, by her power. They caught us by surprise. We fought and we lost.”

Rei stepped directly in front of Minako, using the height of the platform to her advantage. “How did we die?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“We were all spread throughout the battle. I didn’t see what happened.”

Rei gritted her teeth. “How did you die?”

Minako took a breath and let it out slowly. “I was outnumbered. And at the right moment, an Earth soldier stabbed me in the chest.”

Rei narrowed her eyes. “You were taken down by an Earth soldier? The great defender of Venus? The leader of the senshi?”

Minako’s teeth seemed to grit. “Like I said, I was outnumbered. And Serenity was dead. After that, there wasn’t much hope. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take a shower. Unless anyone else has something they would like to say to me.”

The room fell quiet and uncomfortable. Minako took that as her cue to exit.

Rei watched her as she walked away. She supposed it was very likely that they were separated in that battle. And it wasn’t completely unlikely that they were simply outnumbered. And Usagi. Rei could only imagine what it would be like to lose Usagi in this life. Mars knew Serenity so much better than Rei knew Usagi. It would certainly be a crushing blow if she were to die. But like many details of that battle, Rei didn’t remember it.

Minako’s story was logical. Almost too much so.

Rei’s instincts were never wrong. There was more to the story, more that Minako refused to say.

And Rei would find out what it was.


	5. Chapter 5

A full minute passed after Minako disappeared into the bathroom before anyone could speak again. Rei could feel the tension and glares in the room but she didn’t particularly mind. It was Usagi’s voice that broke the silence.

“Rei…”

Rei turned to see Usagi sitting upright in her cot.

“I didn’t know you were awake,” Rei said.

Usagi’s eyes were wide and alert. It was clear that she had been awake for some time. But Rei didn’t want to acknowledge that yet.

“Why were you being so mean to Minako?”

Rei paused. While Rei could be curt with most people, Usagi was someone she couldn’t be curt with. At least, not as much as she was with others.

Usagi stood and walked to the platform. Rei also couldn’t help but notice that Artemis was awake too, sitting upright on Minako’s cot. He didn’t move or say anything, but Rei could feel his gaze. She was definitely right in his protectiveness of Minako. Usagi stepped up next to her but she didn’t say anything. She just looked at Rei with a cocked head and those huge doe eyes.

“I think Minako is keeping secrets from us,” Rei finally said. 

“Because she’s sad,” Usagi said. “You agreed to be nice to her before we even set up here.”

“Yes, I did. But if she can’t respect me enough to tell me the truth, I don’t feel like I should extend that same courtesy to her.”

“Maybe she has reasons to keep secrets.”

“Why are you defending her?” Rei grew indignant. After all, Rei had been friends with Usagi first. Why would Usagi go so far to defend someone who was clearly lying?

“Because I want her to feel included in the group. Can’t you tell? She seems so much more grown up than us. I think she has things she doesn’t want to talk about. I want to help her.”

“You want to help everyone.” Rei couldn’t help the bit of scoff she put into her tone.

“Because everyone needs some help. And if I can be that person to give it…I just want to help.” 

Surprisingly, Makoto was the first one to Usagi’s side to defend her. 

“Rei, calm down. Usagi just wants to help.”

“So you think it’s okay for Minako to keep secrets?”

Makoto looked away. “I think that we should respect her privacy if there's something she doesn't want to talk about.”

Rei turned to Ami. “And what do you think?” Ami jumped a bit from being put on the spot. She recovered quickly but her voice sounded a bit unsure. “I think it would be helpful to have more information but she is our leader and we should respect that.”

Rei rolled her eyes and Usagi stomped her foot. “Rei, you promised. You promised that you would give Minako a chance. It’s not just important to her. It’s important to me too.” She looked up at Mamoru next to her and scooted closer to him. “I want Mamo to have his friends back too.”

Mamoru said nothing. Rei didn’t dislike Mamoru but she also didn’t really like him. But she still looked to him to see if he would agree with her. She could tell that Minako and Mamoru didn’t get along so she hoped he would take her side. But he said nothing and, from the look on his face, sided with Usagi.

That was that, she supposed. “I’m just here to make sure you don’t do anything reckless,” Rei finally said. “No other reason. And now, I’m going to get ready for bed.”

She walked off to the bathroom in silence. No one said anything or tried to stop her. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted them to.

-

Minako turned the water to blistering hot and allowed the steam to fill the room as she pulled off her clothes. She let the water run for longer than necessary before stepping in.

The hot stream rushed down her and she welcomed the heat it brought.

She didn’t mean to be so harsh. A part of her regretted her lies as soon as she said them but she couldn’t go back on them. That would only make them suspicious. And she couldn’t have them be suspicious. She needed them focused. They needed to have a leader they could respect. And she knew that as soon as she told them the truth about their deaths, they wouldn’t stay.

The day that Usagi remembered and became Princess Serenity once again, the senshi had an endless stream of questions about their past lives, and a few more after their trip to the Moon. She stayed vague in her answers. The fact that they had those questions meant that their memories weren't fully intact. She was thankful for that. They wouldn't have to live with the pain.

She was more thankful that they didn’t remember that the shitennou were the ones who dealt the senshi their final blow.

She could still remember catching Mercury’s eyes and seeing the light fade from them when Zoisite got the upper hand, ripping his dagger from navel to ribcage. She remembered the surprised look on Mars’ face when Jadeite stabbed her. She could still see Jupiter’s mangled body tossed to the side like a rag doll.

She pushed away the memories. They were hard, too hard to relive. Even though she saw their deaths a hundred times, it never got any easier. They plagued her nightmares and would occasionally sneak up on her when her guard was down. It never got easier. But she did get better at pushing them away, avoiding the look in their lifeless eyes.

They could never know the truth. She would be strong for all of them. She had to be.

Her fingers unconsciously stopped at the birthmark between her ribs. She had it ever since she could remember and resembled a scar more than a traditional birthmark. Doctors told her it was likely just a small developmental issue when she was in the womb. That was what she accepted for years, despite the tiny voice that told her no. Then, after that fateful day when her memories came back, she realized what it really was.

She could still remember the impact of Kunzite’s sword as it struck her. Still remember his victory words as she stumbled. She could still remember how thick the tears were as they fell down her face to mix with the blood that was dripping from her mouth. Any hope was gone. Her princess was dead…her sisters fell at the hands of the men they loved…they lost. There was nothing worth fighting for anymore. But she would not leave Kunzite to stay as Beryl’s puppet.

She still remembered summoning the strength to capture him, how it felt to pull him against her. She held him to her with her chain as she screamed to summon her final crescent beam. Her throat was hoarse but the attack rained down and she held him to her, destroying him

Her last memory was of both of them falling, his clothes singed with her attack and the life draining from his eyes. She couldn’t win the war, she couldn’t save her home or the people she loved. She had to watch it crumble, along with everyone she cared about. Before her eyes closed for the final time, she saw Kunzite, his eyes empty and she hoped that they could both find some happiness in whatever afterlife they found themselves in.

But there was no happiness, no afterlife. Just a new life given to her by her Queen where they could find peace. But there was none. Just the same mistakes. And Queen Serenity wasn’t there to help them anymore.

She was thankful to have the showers in their little prison. She was even more thankful that each shower was private. It meant that no one would be around as she sunk to the ground. And that no one would be able to hear her cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for already coming this far. I know it's heavy but I promise the payoff will be worthwhile. And if you want to leave a comment, that would be a wonderful bright spot for me in this crazy year.


	6. Chapter 6

Cooking came easily to Makoto. While some said it was some kind of natural talent, they didn’t see all the hours she worked to practice her skills. Of course she always had a natural curiosity for food but curiosity didn’t help her improve her knife skills, practice did that.

All those hours of practice were the only reason she could let her mind wander as she chopped.

After Rei’s little outburst, she decided to retreat back to the kitchen. She had a feeling Rei would not be in a good mood when she came back out of the bathroom and Makoto was still trying to figure out where she stood with everyone. Besides Minako, she was the newest member to the team. While she had gotten to know Usagi decently well for the short time they had been friends, she was still figuring out Ami and Rei. And she still didn’t have any idea what kind of person Minako was.

She could see where Usagi was coming from. Minako seemed like she was hiding a lot of pain. Makoto did that herself when her parents died. She slowly started opening up over the years, but only to people she deemed important to her, not that there were many. She mostly stopped caring what people thought and decided to live her own life. It was lonely, but she managed. She didn’t want to spend time on people who would only let her down anyways.

Then Usagi came along, Makoto became a Sailor Senshi, and with it came a group of people. People she was destined to be friends and allies with. People she shared a past life with.

Makoto bit her lip and put the knife down.

It was certainly an adjustment when they began this…whatever it was. She had never cooked for more than one person before. And now, she was in charge of cooking for ten people and two cats. Well, she tried to look at it as good practice for when she would open her café one day. But still, she felt separate, different. She knew why but she preferred not to think about it. It was why she preferred to spend most of her time in the kitchen. It was a comfortable, familiar setting. Even once she finished cooking, she would take a bit longer to do dishes or would just detail and clean everything, although she knew it was pointless. All of the appliances were brand new and were barely used to warrant that level of cleaning.

But still, she cleaned. She emptied and cleaned the fridge three times, she pulled the grates off of the gas range to clean the most miniscule crumbs, and she cleaned the floor at least twice daily. The others didn’t seem to notice how long she was in the kitchen for.

It was easier this way. Easier to avoid the questions, easier to let the planning go to the others.

What would they even do if she knew she didn’t remember their past lives?

She swept the veggies into a bowl.

It wasn’t as if she remembered nothing. There were bits and pieces from her past life but they were flashes. She was able to put together a vague story of her life from it: She had a close relationship with Serenity and the other senshi, led them all in training exercises, and spent her free time devising battle strategies. But still, the memories were fleeting so, when their past lives came up, she preferred to listen so she could add those details to what she did remember. But no matter how many details she could scrape together, Jupiter’s life felt so distant from her own. It didn’t feel like her life, just a story that she once heard or a movie she once saw.

Then there was Nephrite.

He crashed into her brain hard and she placed her hands on the counter for support. She hated when those thoughts surprised her like that. She tried not to think about him but he was in her mind now.

Not that there was much to focus on. By comparison, her memories of Nephrite made her memories of the Silver Millennium seem like an encyclopedia.

There were memories but they were less than flashes. They were barely images. She was aware of the connection but the little Minako told them about how they each fell in love with one of Endymion’s guard was more than she remembered.

While the memories of her life were like a movie she watched years ago, her memories of Nephrite were more like a dream, the kind you could barely remember after waking up. The kind of dream that you try desperately to hold onto but slips away like sand in your fingers.

She pulled out a wok and turned the heat on.

Why didn’t she remember? Was their love weaker than she thought? Was _she_ weak? A hundred possibilities ran through her head. Everyone else seemed to have stronger memories than she did. But why? Would she feel differently about this whole situation if she did remember him?

She agreed to this whole plan because it was what Usagi wanted. She figured that going along with what Usagi wanted would be the best way to avoid talking about her lack of memories. But she also hadn’t expected the plan to go this long.

She bought enough food to feed an army, sure, but at the time she wasn’t even sure how much to buy so she massively overbought. It made her feel a bit worse about her contribution. If she couldn’t properly plan the thing she was good at, could she be useful at all?

She put the vegetables in the wok to sautee and her thoughts drifted to Nephrite again. What kind of relationship did they even have? Was it passionate and romantic like the fairy tales she dreamed of as a child? Was it secretive and mysterious? What was he like? Why was she attracted to him? Was he kind and generous? Was he mysterious and aloof? What did he see in her? She wanted to know but she couldn’t bring herself to ask anyone. It would reveal too much.

She pulled out a wooden spoon to mix the vegetables. The kitchen was where she was comfortable, where she could be useful. So that is where she would stay. For now, she would have to manage this path by herself. After all, she spent years being an outsider. She was used to it. And she could live with that.


	7. Chapter 7

“I don’t remember you hair giving me this much trouble back in the old days,” Minako said.

Usagi shrugged. “Mamo just doesn’t want me to trip on it.”

“Well, we’ll just have to take care of it then.”

Minako took the brush and scissors from Usagi’s hands. Usagi’s hair had been growing regularly since she released the Silver Crystal. With each use of its power, her hair would grow again and would need to be cut. Fortunately, as her body adjusted to the Silver Crystal’s power, her hair grew a little less each time. This time it was only about a foot.

Usagi’s hair was still down from its usual hairstyle after waking up and Minako began brushing out the tangles.

Rei and Ami were asleep so Luna and Artemis kept an eye on the screens. When Minako came back out of the bathroom, Mamoru joined Makoto in the kitchen. Minako was grateful for it. The last thing she wanted to do was have Mamoru be close to their conversation, awkwardly listening but pretending not to.

She managed to pull herself together in the shower. It took a lot of tears and mental fortitude to build herself back up after she fell apart like that. But it was something she had to do. She couldn’t face her senshi again without being a strong leader. So she did what she had to do and put it behind her. Fortunately, no one commented on her long absence and Usagi waited for her, a brush and scissors in hand.

It was a familiar motion, brushing Usagi’s hair. It reminded her of their time in their past lives. It was comforting, calming. It helped to strengthen her back up and she felt a little less empty than she had when she left the shower.

“Minako, they were nice, weren’t they?”

Minako followed Usagi’s gaze to the main screen where the constant surveillance of the shitennou was displayed. “Yes Princess. They were.”

“Zoisite used to pull pranks on me. He would tell me all sorts of things about the Earth that weren’t true.”

“He did?”

“Yes. He once told me that squirrels were the most vicious animal in the kingdom. It took Endy a lot of convincing that it wasn’t true.”

Minako smiled. There was something about the way Usagi spoke about them, maybe it was because it was the happy memories. She wanted to hear more.

“What else did he tell you?”

“That fireflies would zap me and that butterflies were the most poisonous thing in the world. Kunzite got mad at him for the butterflies one.”

Minako’s gut panged. What was she doing getting caught up in sentiment? That was exactly what she told herself not to do. She had to steel herself again. So as Usagi continued, Minako channeled the skill she used when she looked at the screen. She needed to pay attention, but not too much. 

“Nephrite was always really nice. Jadeite didn’t like me at first but he got nicer after a little while.”

“That’s because you were always incredibly charming. Everyone loved you.” Good. Generic truths were the way to go.

“Am I right about them?” Usagi asked.

Minako couldn’t help herself saying, “What do you mean?” but then mentally smacked herself for opening herself up.

“Am I remembering them right? I just wanted to make sure my memories were right.”

Hearing about them was one thing but talking about them was something entirely different. But then, it was so much harder to draw lines with Usagi. She hoped she could keep things vague.

“You are. They were good men. They were kind.”

“And they cared about Endymion so much.”

The tangles were long gone from Usagi’s hair but Minako kept brushing. “They did.”

“I want to save them. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long.”

Thoughts of the shitennou were pushed aside in order to comfort her sad princess. “We never expected this to be a quick thing. The Silver Crystal and you need some time to become one again. Just keep trying, keep pushing. I know you can do it.”

Usagi nodded. “I’ll do my best. And I want to see Kunzite smile again. It was nice when he smiled.”

Minako set the brush aside. She could feel the walls inside of her shake and she tried not to think of Kunzite’s smile. “Okay, it’s time to cut. Just stay very still. It might be best to even avoid talking. I want to get an even cut.”

-

Minako was on a shift at the console when Rei woke up. Minako could see her out of the corner of her eye but pretended not to notice. Instead, she pretended to take particular interest in the map of Tokyo and the CCTV screens.

After a few minutes, Rei, surprisingly, came straight to the dais. Minako still pretended not to notice her and fiddled around with the buttons.

“Minako,” she began.

Minako turned around and pretended to notice her for the first time. She kept her tone professional but tried to sound friendly. It’s what a good leader would do, show professionalism in the sight of hardship. “Good morning. How did you sleep?”

“Fine,” she said. She looked uncomfortable, it was a strange sight to see. “Usagi said that some of my words may have been a bit harsh. I just want to…apologize for the things I said.”

It was clear that Rei didn’t really mean it. She wouldn’t have mentioned Usagi otherwise. But Minako got the impression that she was apologizing to keep the peace, and to appease Usagi.

“Thank you Mars.” She paused. A leader would show humility. “I was harsh as well. Shall we put this behind us?”

Rei nodded.

“I’m glad,” Minako said. “Would you like to sit with me?”

“No thank you. I should get back to my meditation. I should be able to get a bit of time in before Ami wakes up.”

Minako still wasn’t sure what Rei hoped to achieve in her meditations but all she said was, “Sounds good. Let me know if you find out anything.”

Rei agreed and left.

Minako looked back at the console. Mars was always stubborn but Minako would take it if it meant keeping the peace. She wasn’t sure how long it would last. Mars and Venus always had a difficult relationship. They were close but they were also the most likely to argue. They always made up though. Minako just hoped that this whole thing would end before they got to the arguing stage. They just needed get through this.

They had to.


	8. Chapter 8

Minako wasn’t ready for this. She kept telling herself that her breakdown in the shower was a momentary lapse, that she was past it. That was what she repeated as she watched the others transform. Another day, another visit to a prisoner.

But this was the visit she had been dreading.

It was easy to avoid Kunzite outside of the healing sessions. Occasionally, when watching the screens, she would catch herself staring at him a bit too long but she could force herself to look away.

Healing sessions were harder. She had to watch. She had to pay attention to him. She had to look into his eyes.

Usagi was her usual, optimistic self and walked beside Minako as they made their way to that terrible hallway. Minako managed to avoid it since they went to see Zoisite and, even though she had her princess at her side, she felt nothing but dread.

She channeled the part of herself that could close the painful things off and pushed away the sentiment. This was no time to get wrapped up in sentiment.

_Don_ _’t linger, don’t stare, don’t engage, don’t let your guard down. Don’t linger, don’t stare, don’t engage, don’t let your guard down. Don’t linger, don’t stare, don’t engage, don’t let your guard down. Don’t linger, don’t stare, don’t engage, don’t let your guard down._

Over and over those words rolled through her head. And she felt herself harden.

They arrived at his door, the first door, in fact and they fell into formation. Venus took a breath, opened the door, and immediately threw her chain around him. His eyes flicked to her.

“Hello Venus.”

She pretended as if she didn’t hear him and turned to face Usagi, who brought out the Silver Crystal.

“We’re going to make you better Kunzite. We’re going to help you remember who you really are.”

Minako remembered when she said something similar to him. They felt like a lifetime ago now, when she stood alone on top of Tokyo Tower and tried to reason with him. She tried to get through to him. But it was no use, Metalia had too strong of a hold on him. The Silver Crystal was the only thing that could break through Metalia’s hold on him.

This was their third session with Kunzite now. On their first, Minako foolishly let herself get her hopes up. She imagined that he would be exposed to the Crystal and that would be that. But, of course, their visit came and went and he was still the same, still bound to Metalia. He looked like he did now. He stared, barely blinking. First at her, then at Usagi.

She stared at him. He flinched a bit when Usagi let out the power of the Crystal. But other than that, he remained still as a stone. Truth be told, his face was always like that, even in the past. But this was different. In their past lives, he had ticks, little things that were his tells.

_“You’re happier today,” Venus said._

_“And what makes you say that?” Kunzite replied._

_“Your lips are turned up.”_

_“I wasn’t aware that I betrayed my emotions so easily.”_

_“If it makes you feel better, it’s very small. I imagine most people wouldn’t even notice it.”_

_“But you did.”_

_Venus smiled._ _“Because I find it fascinating. Back on Venus, we tend to wear our heart on our sleeve. If there is something to be said, it is said. So to have your thoughts so hidden behind a stony facade is…different than what I’m used to. In fact, I thought it best to create a small study on you.”_

_“A study?”_

_“Yes.” Venus gestured to the garden where Endymion and Serenity sat. “I decided some time ago that if our prince and princess were to fraternize, I should get a better handle of you, since we seem to run into each other so often.”_

_“Well then. In that case, we should test it.”_

_“Test it?”_

_“Yes. If you have such powers of deduction, what is the cause for my good mood today?”_

_His eyes bore into her own. They were bright and more welcoming than she had seen them. But, again, it was something that most people wouldn_ _’t even notice. The changes in his manner were always so small and one had to be particularly attentive._

_The powers of Aphrodite came with a certain privilege of being in tune with those around her. She knew he was developing feelings for her and she was already very aware of her growing feelings for him. The problem was that she wasn_ _’t sure if he was aware of it yet. She knew it was the reason for his good mood. She felt it shift when he saw her. But she didn’t want to push him into anything yet._

_“Serenity,” she said instead. “She’s grown on you. You’re happy to see her.”_

_He stared at her for a long moment before looking away._ _“Correct.”_

Fuck. What was Minako thinking? How could she let herself sink into memories like that?

_Don_ _’t linger, don’t stare, don’t engage, don’t let your guard down._

She pulled the chain tighter and stared at his face, his red eyes. She needed to see him for what he was now. He was cold, unfeeling, tied to Beryl and Metalia’s whim.

In that moment, she realized something. She had looked into his face multiple times since they captured him. But it wasn’t until now that she realized she truly had no idea what he was thinking. He always had little ticks, little tells and she could use those to tell what was on his mind. But now, as he turned his red eyes to her blue, she realized she saw nothing. No ticks, no thoughts. Nothing.

And as they looked into each other’s eyes, Minako _felt_ that nothing. He looked her up and down. But still, his face did not change.

She did her best to hide the shiver that went down her spine.


End file.
